Picture Courtesy: Me.Me
Often we see ourselves displaying the same character traits as our parents or our caretakers. As children, we mirror the actions that we see our authority figures display and that’s how we learn to be functioning adults. The mirroring of these physical actions slowly transforms itself into mirroring their behaviors and reactions. While we cannot control who our birth family is and how much they influence us growing up-it is crucial to understand and accept that we can most certainly choose who we want to be after leaving our nests.
Often people around us justify their actions by how they have seen situations play out at their homes. It can be a 16 year old with anger issues or a 25-year-old, both individuals are conscious of the fact that they suffer from the latter due to maybe witnessing a parent suffering from anger issues. While it's quite commendable to be aware of why and how you react in problematic situations- often, people justify their wrongdoings by some sort of trauma they might have gone through as children and that’s where the problem lies. Justification of the issue without any action to resolve the issue represents a lack of accountability. And, the moment one is really willing to take accountability for their negative traits, that’s when the healing journey begins.
We might often lose sight of why exactly we’re trying to break the cycle. You might ask yourself ‘Why do I have to be the one to make everything right’ or ‘Why do I have to be the one who has to do all the healing when my parents never did?’
The simple answer to this is, What you heal in yourself, you heal in your family line. What you heal in yourself, you heal in the people that you surround yourself with.